The secret
by Beaut1ful Dream3r
Summary: Steve is in love with Tony but Tony has no clue.


Tony Stark had never been more annoyed with a star spangled brat than he was right now. Although he had no real reason to be so mad. It's not like they were an item. Steve didn't even know that Tony had feelings for him. Tony wouldn't even admit to himself he was gay let alone to anyone else. But Steve still shouldn't be parading around his new man candy like he was a wrist watch. Right on cue who walks through the door, Steve with his Sam. "Well look what the cat dragged in" Tony says through gritted teeth.

"What's the matter Tony?" Sam asked.

"I just don't like you guys flaunting yourselves in front of me".

"Why not? Are you jealous?"

"Ugh please". Tony rolled his eyes and tried to pretend like he wasn't jealous. Even though inside he was absolutely fuming. He felt the most seething rage towards Sam that his blood boiled and he saw red. Then he tasted red. He turned around towards the sink and spit out the blood that had gathered in his mouth. Steve looked at him in disappointment although he couldn't figure out why. What had he done to leave such a look on Steve's cute face? He had a beautiful little smile. He shook his head. What the fuck was he thinking? He was with Pepper. And he loved her…didn't he? Whenever he saw Steve's smile he forgot all about Pepper. He hated that arrogant, stupid, annoying, beautiful, out of time, man. He didn't know what it was about him that made Tony so insane, but he knew one thing, he wanted him. In his life, in his bed, in his head, that's where Steve lived. Turning away he watched as Steve moved closer to Sam. He watched the world turn green when Steve put his arm around Sam's shoulders and nuzzled his neck. All the while staring into Tony's eyes. Why was he doing that? The look of determination on Steve's face when he kissed Sam's neck. Why did he look like he was waiting for Tony to do something? He took the hint and left the room. He could tell when he wasn't wanted.

Steve watched Tony leave with a look of disbelief on his face. "I don't think it's working Sam" Steve felt ready to cry. "No matter what I do he doesn't see me. He's only disgusted by me. I told him I was gay, and nothing, I told him I had feelings for him and nothing, and now this. Trying to make him jealous isn't working. He doesn't even care. What do I do now?"

"There's only one thing to do. Just stop. If he isn't into you he isn't into you and he has Pepper. So let's call all this off." Sam said even though he knew it would crush Steve's heart. Steve hung his head. As they were talking they didn't know that Tony was listening at the door. He loves me? Oh my god. And he hadn't noticed. He knew Steve was gay and he knew Steve had a thing for him but he didn't realize how strongly Steve felt. What a schmuck he was. Maybe he blew his shot. He heard them coming and booked it away from the door. They walked through the door right as Tony turned the corner. "He probably just doesn't have feelings for you. I know that that sucks but I think you're too good for him anyway. You need a nice guy. You know? One who will love you right"?

"I told you Sam, I don't want anyone else. You agreed to help me for whatever reason you agreed to. But it doesn't matter because he doesn't care so I guess we tell them all we broke up". Sam's eyes dropped down.

"Steve I helped you because I thought maybe you'd fall for me. I have a thing for you. A huge one and I was hopping if I pretended to date you and you pretended to date me you'd actually want to. But I guess that didn't work. So I guess I'll have to get over you and you have to get over Tony". Tony could not believe his ears. Steve and Sam had planned this whole thing just to make him jealous? It was clever. And it worked much to his astonishment. He realized he loved Steve and had to do something about it. First he had to call Pepper.

"I had no idea you felt this way Sam. I never would have encouraged you. I'm sorry but I'm in love with Tony and you know that". Steve felt like a grade A pile of shit. He had no idea Sam was even gay let alone he loved him. He would have never agreed to this whole jealousy plan with this knowledge. Although it should have been obvious considering that Sam had been the one to concoct the plan. It should have been truly very obvious. He had to tell Tony how he felt. It was the only way to be true to himself. He turned the corner and heard Tony talking on the phone. He didn't want to interrupt so he waited a bit.

"I love you and I want to be with you. No one else matters and I truly need you. Please believe me." Tony said to Pepper, Steve was assuming. Hearing that broke Steve's heart. How could he be so stupid as to think that Tony would love him? He had no clue. With his head down Steve walked back to his room in the Avengers complex. He sat on his bed and let his sadness consume him. He had been trying to contain his sadness and hide it especially around Tony. But hearing that destroyed him. He had no idea why this hurt him so much. He knew Tony loved Pepper but this, this hurt. After a few minutes of crying he went to the box under his bed. Opening it up, he looked at the objects inside. A lighter and a pocket knife. He hadn't done this in a while but figured now was he time. He knew he shouldn't but the feeling of sweet relief would make it all better. He flicked the lighter and let the flame run over the open blade. Pressing the hot blade against his arm, he felt the pain searing his flesh and the sweet relief of the numbness. It had been weeks since he had done this but the burn felt sweet. He felt the tears of the physical pain burn away the tears from the heartbreak.

Tony walked down the hall a bit and pulled out his phone. Dialing Pepper he prayed he could find the words. "Hello?"

"Hey Pepper it's me Tony."

"Hey babe what's up?"

"I have something kind of heavy to talk to you about but I don't think I could wait until I see you again."

"Oh geez. What is it?"

"Pepper, I think I'm in love with Steve."

"Wait you think you're gay or bi or what?"

"Pepper hon, I'm gay. I love you but not as a lover. I love you like family. I'm sorry."

"Oh thank god!"

"Wait what?"

"Tony I've known you were gay but I was waiting for you to realize it. I'm gay too."

"You are?"

"Yeah. I think you should tell Steve how you feel."

"What if he doesn't feel the same way?" Even though in the back of his mind he remembered Steve's words to Sam.

"Go for it."

"Well what am I going to say? 'Hey Steve, I've been secretly gay for a while now. I know I should have told you earlier when you told me you had feelings for me. But I guess I was just scared because I didn't know how to deal with it. But I just wanted to say that I love you and I want to be with you. No one else matters and I truly need you. Please believe me.' That sounds insane. What the hell would he be expecting when would I possibly drop that on him?"

"Just knock on his door and ask him if you can talk to him. Tell him the truth."

"You're sure that will work?"

"Yes hon, go tell him. And let me know how it goes."

"Okay." Tony hung up the phone and went to search for Steve. He went towards the kitchen but didn't see him. Sam was sitting at the table so Tony walked in "hey Sam, where is Steve?"

"Well since I haven't seen him since he went to look for you, I wouldn't know now would I? I don't know anything about Steve now do I?" Sam said glaring at Tony.

"Okay then. I'll look in his room." Tony walked towards Steve's room and stood outside. He raised his hand to knock but stopped before knocking. Taking a deep breath he moved closer. He heard crying on the other side of the door. Steeling himself he wondered if he should come back later, knock anyway, or walk in to see what was wrong. When he heard the sobbing get worse he stopped thinking about it and rushed in. The scene he saw before him caused him such anguish he couldn't say a word. Steve was laying on his bed with a lighter in one hand and a knife pressed into his inner elbow. Tony noticed here were many burns along his arm in the shape of a knife. With a gasp Steve looked up and stared at Tony with tears running down his face. "What on earth are you doing Steve?" Tony whispered so that he wouldn't scream it.

"Nothing."

"It doesn't look like nothing babe." Tony sat on Steve's bed and pulled the lighter out of his hand. Grabbing the knife he put them both in his pocket and took Steve's hands. Caressing Steve's face, Tony stared into his eyes, "What's going on? The depression is obvious now but I had no idea you were doing this to yourself. Why are you doing this?" Tony questioned holding back tears.

Steve was shocked to hear Tony call him babe. It stunned him further when Tony removed the lighter and knife from his hands. Looking at him in shock, he could only stare at Tony. "This is just how I deal with personal problems. Also did you just call me babe?"

"I did yeah. Don't try to change the subject. What made you start doing this in the first place?"

"Everyone in WWII did this. It was a coping mechanism. I know it's bad but it's the only thing I know how to do".

"Well what on earth triggered it this time?"

"Well I heard you talking to Pepper."

"Really? What did you overhear?"

"I heard you telling her you loved her and wanted her to believe you." Steve stared at the ground missing the look of utter horror on Tony's face. He felt like an absolute shit for having been the cause of this pain.

"Oh Steve I was talking about you."

"Huh?"

"I was asking Pepper what I should say to you and that's what she said would be good."

"Oh."

"Yeah well back to the knife thing. What the hell?"

"It's really the only way I can solve problems right now. I can't stop on my own though."

"Well I'm going to help you stop. I'll help you get through it."

"Why? Why do you care so much?"

"Because I love you. If it hasn't been obvious I'm gay. And I love you and I want to be with you. Is that okay?"

"You want to be with me even with all my problems? Even though I'm crazy, fucked up, and broken?" Steve closed his eyes and waited for Tony to get off the bed and leave. His eyes popped open when he felt Tony's lips on his cheek.

"You're beautiful. I don't care if you have depression. I don't care if you hurt yourself. I don't care if you think you're fucked up, crazy, or broken. Everyone is fucked up, crazy, and broken in some kind of way. Even me." Moving closer Tony slid his hand up to Steve's face. Cupping his hand along Steve's cheek, he looked into his eyes. "Steve, I think you are the most wonderful man around despite all the struggles you have gone through. I wish I had known about all of this earlier. I could have helped you." Steve leaned into Tony's touch and thanked him for caring. Tony moved closer to Steve and pressed his lips lightly against Steve's mouth. Steve gasped and that let Tony slide his tongue into Steve's mouth. Steve moved his hands into Tony's hair and pulled him closer. Tony wasn't thinking straight, he wasn't sure if this was what Steve wanted. After all Steve had never been intimate with someone before. He pulled his face away and noticed the priceless half lidded look on Steve's face. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." Tony whispered against Steve's lips as he pressed his forehead against Steve's.

"It's okay. I really wanted you to." Steve leaned forward and kissed Tony again much to his shock. Pushing Tony down to the bed, Steve climbed on top of him. Kissing him again, Steve slid his hands down the front of Tony's body. "Tony, I love you. I want you to take me." Tony just looked at Steve and didn't say a word. "Unless you don't want to." Steve tried not to look heart-stricken. He needed Tony but not for a truly sexual reason. He needed Tony to show him that he was desirable and needed. He needed to feel like he was wanted.

"Steve, is that what you want? I can do that." Tony took a deep breath. He wasn't sure if Steve had said this because he wanted it or because it was what he thought Tony wanted.

"Yes it is."

"Okay. I can do that." Tony pushed Steve down onto the bed and got on top of the larger man. Tony reached down and pulled off Steve's shirt while his closely followed. He kissed Steve again, pushing his tongue into Steve's mouth. Tony rubbed his tongue along the roof of Steve's mouth while Steve bit down gently on Tony's tongue causing Tony to moan softly. "Do that again." Tony whispered. Steve again bit down softly on the invading tongue in his mouth. Tony moved down to kissing Steve's neck. He gently bit him right above the collar bone causing Steve to cry out. Tony pulled back breathing heavily. Resting his head the crook of Steve's neck Tony realized he may have gone too far. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It didn't hurt." Steve said, flipping them over. He kissed Tony on his neck.

"Bite me Steve, hard." Steve didn't exactly know what he was doing so he was glad for the instruction. He bit Tony hard or so he thought. "Oh come on doll. You can do better than that. Like you're trying to draw blood baby." Steve took a deep breath and tried to remember he was doing as Tony asked. He bit into Tony's neck as hard as he could. Tony moaned and dug his nails into Steve's back. Steve sucked the spot to sooth it and Tony dragged his nails down his spine in response. Gasping he kissed down Tony's chest stopping at the top of his pants.

"Ca-can I take this off Tony?" Steve questioned gesturing to Tony's pants. Instead of replying, Tony popped the button on his pants and pushed them down and kicked them off. Steve gasped and it was at that moment Tony remember he wasn't wearing any boxers. "Tony, you don't wear boxers?" Tony shook his head and was about to defend his choice when, Steve leaned down and wrapped his lips around Tony's manhood.

"Holy shit." Tony gasped pushing his hands into Steve's hair. Tony thrust into Steve's mouth but pulled him off by the hair when he heard Steve gagging. Tony didn't want to be too rough this first time. Steve climbed off of Tony and pulled his own pants and boxers down and off. Tony could only look at this beautiful man in all his naked glory. Steve sat on the bed and Tony pushed him down onto the mattress. "Now it's my turn." Tony said his voice dropping seductively. Steve didn't know what to expect be he never expected Tony to run his tongue down the length of Steve's body past his manhood to his rear. _Oh god._ Was all he could think as Tony stuck his tongue and fingers inside Steve's rectum. Tony had is other hand wrapped around his own manhood stroking himself. Steve had never been so close and yet so far from orgasm before. Gasping for breath, Steve pushed against Tony's hand. With his hands still at work, Tony slip up Steve's body and whispered in his ear, "Are you ready? Do you want me to take you now?"

"Yes. Please. Tony I need you." Steve begged looking into Tony's eyes. Tony kissed Steve and at the same time removed his hands from Steve's body. He pushed his manhood against Steve's rear and pushed deep into him. He knew it would hurt Steve but was past the point of caring and Steve didn't seem to mind. In fact judging by his cries he was enjoying this immensely. Tony pulled out slowly and pushed home again. "Harder." Steve pled. Tony did as he was asked and moved against Steve harder and faster. Tony was quickly approaching the finish line but wanted to get Steve there first. Steve was clutching the sheets between his fists making it perfectly clear he was also close to finishing up. Tony had to get Steve there first but he didn't know how. He did the only thing he could think of. He leaned forward and kissed Steve hard while repeatedly hitting his prostate. He ran his hand along Steve's chest and the other one along his balls. Steve moaned and came hard splashing Tony and himself with cum. Tony felt the first spurt and it pushed him over the edge causing him to push home as deep as he could go and cum, filling Steve with it. He pulled out and laid beside Steve. Steve wrapped his arms around Tony kissing the top of his head. "I love you Tony. Will you be mine?"

"I love you too Steve. Of course I will."

Fin.


End file.
